


'TIs the Season

by IfMulderCouldSeeMeNow



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Christmas, Elf, Fever Dream, Humor, Sexual Humor, santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 17:32:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IfMulderCouldSeeMeNow/pseuds/IfMulderCouldSeeMeNow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penelope Garcia has the flu, so she is sent home from the Christmas party by her companions. Will someone rescue her from her unfestive and grumpy mood? Maybe a special Santa Claus will come to her rescue. Please Read and Review! I'm well aware it's October! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	'TIs the Season

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my older fanfics. Hope you like it.

'Tis the Season

This would surely be the worse Christmas ever, Penelope Garcia thought as she plopped down on her couch. While it looked like a holiday unicorn vomited festivity all over her apartment, she couldn't help but cross her arms and pout. Here she was, on Christmas eve, bundled up in her apartment with the flu. Of course she realized she was being melodramatic, but didn't she have every right to be? She was sitting at home bundled up when everyone else was at the holiday party, scarfing down themed cookies, she was forced to leave early and sit alone.

It was chilly in her apartment, despite the heat being on. She imagined that it must be from the blizzard that began to ravage outside. She tugged her blanket closer around her festively plump form, shaking slightly as a shiver moved up her spine. Oh, what she would do for a large cup of hot chocolate right now. Unfortunately, he was also with the treacherous bunch of holiday party goers. She quickly grabbed one of the gingerbread men JJ had sent her home with, careful to bite the head off first. 'Take that, Mr. Man!' she thought to herself. 'Thought you got out of the party, alive, huh? Welcome to your worst nightmare.' She laughed at her own foolishness and sniffled, flipping through the channels. No, she would not subject herself to 'It's a Wonderful life' once again. Where was 'Morgan: the chocolate reindeer?' She sneezed again, and then began to laugh. She was very punny today, if she did say so herself. Why was she in such a poor mood anyway, her apartment looked gorgeous, with the snowflakes of various colors hanging along with beautiful lights. Her friends were just trying to take care of her. Either that, or they didn't want her coughing over their 'Frosty the Snowman' rice crispy treats. Glancing at her clock, she realized that she was late for her antibiotic. Running as fast as she could to the bathroom, her blanket flying like a cape behind her, she pulled the bottle from the cabinet.

The luscious blonde returned to her living room to retrieve her drink. Oh, did she hate taking pills. She fiddled with the cap for a few moments, before it slipped from her long painted nails, adorned with trees and presents. The bottle plopped into her fishbowl. Quickly she grabbed for the bottle, her fish dodging her prying fingers in horror.

'No, it is the holidays! You shall not become the leader of a drug cartel!' She spoke to her fish, wiping the bottle. 'Dangit. The instructions are blurred. Was it one or two pills?' She tapped her foot anxiously, before downing two of them. She sat back on the couch and continued to behead the unsuspecting gingerbread men. About thirty minutes into 'It's a Wonderful life' she began to feel tired. She knew one of the symptoms of the medication was drowsiness, but this was ridiculous. She was beginning to think it was in her best interest to return home from the party.

She heard a small tapping sound, waking her from her slumber. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and became alert, searching for the origin of the tapping. She walked to her window, and she could swear she saw a gang of gingerbread cookies glaring at her. She really needed to snap out of her dreams.

Hearing the tapping again she moved around her apartment. It wasn't the door, it wasn't the cabinets, and it most certainly wasn't the imaginary cookie gang outside. Turning around from her door, she noticed a large box under her tree, one she was sure wasn't there before. Maybe Santa had paid her a visit? She laughed at her childish thought and moved over to the box. She stood back for a moment. The tapping…it was coming from the box. She pulled the long pink ribbon, and quickly moved back with a shout, as the lid of the large present exploded.

"D-Derek?" She stumbled, her eyes wide with shock. From the box came a chocolate colored reindeer, who clicked his hoof on the wooden floors, and on top of his back sat Agent Derek Morgan, clad in a Santa hat and a red scarf.

"Hey, baby girl." He spoke. She backed up from the man, falling back on her couch. He dismounted the animal, and began to walk over to her. She covered her eyes with her hands, but found curiosity overpowering. Peaking out through her fingers, she saw him, tall, oily and naked, his scarf stopping right near his stomach.

"Derek, get some clothes!" She shouted, throwing her blanket at him. She heard the mail slot on her door jingle and suddenly gingerbread infantry men were making their way into her apartment. "Those things! Get them out of here!" She shouted, bringing her feet to the couch and clutching her legs close to her body.

"So you don't want the present I brought you?" He asked, a smug smirk on his face. Dang. He got her. The men began to pull out their swords and attempt to stab her with them. She screeched, and jumped from the couch, running into the kitchen to stand on a chair. The men began to climb as she pushed them off with her foot, calling for her naked warrior. Today didn't seem like the right night. After all, he had many presents to deliver. These little confectionary delights wanted to kill his baby girl. He couldn't let that happen. He would save the fun for next year. He collected the sugary demon bundles in his bag, and smiled at his woman, tipping his red hat to her before returning to his reindeer.

The Chocolate wonder threw the red squirming bag over his shoulder and saddled the reindeer again, shouting to her: "HoHoHo Merry Christmas!" The reindeer trotted for a moment and then bucked, jumping back into the box. She jumped off the chair ran after the pair, but noticed that it was now just an empty box. The world became a very blurry place, and began to spin. She fainted.

Derek Morgan slowly slid into her apartment, and shook the snow from his shoulders, his head still clad with a red Santa hat Reid had perched there during the party. It really would be a white Christmas, that's for sure. He was happy for the extra key, he didn't have to wake his companion from her slumber. The sight of her was breathtaking. There she was, snuggled up in covers, sleeping on the couch. At least she was finally able to sleep, probably due to those antibiotics. That flu had kept her up for days. He was glad he was able to get over to her apartment to check on her. He slowly slid his arms under her, and prepared to lift her from the couch, before she popped out of her slumber.

"DEREK." She shouted, attempting to roll from his grasp. Of course, the couch didn't help much with her endeavor.

"Baby girl?" He questioned, alarmed by her shocked tone.

"Oh…it's really you." She sighed with a relief, moving her hand to her least it wasn't one of those dreams induced by those hallucinogenic antibiotics! His brow furrowed and he sat on the couch with her, his hand grabbing hers.

"What's wrong? Did something happen while I was gone?" he asked with his concern. His eyes pleaded for her to just say a name of who had bothered her. She could tell he was worried that someone tried to sneak in on her. He would make sure they turned into a frozen perve-cicle, that's for sure. The weather was perfect for it. She unconsciously bit her lip and concentrated on her words before she spoke.

"I-uh…had a dream." He sighed in relief, happy that she was ok. Why would a dream have her so alarmed though. He was on guard again.

"About what?"

"About you, my chocolate Lancelot." She said, offering him one of the bodies of the gingerbread men. His face was puzzled but as she continued her story, his face turning from concern, to stifling laughter. How could she be terrified of such a hilarious dream? "It really isn't funny, Derek!" She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"So…how did I look?" He questioned, a wild smirk on his lips. She returned the smile.

"Ugh, how vain!" she said playfully. Moving closer to him on the couch she whispered: "Well, let me tell you, the Reindeer had nothing on you."

"That's disgusting, Mama." He grimaced and spoke like he was grossed out.

"Seriously though, it was a scary dream. There were even gang affiliated gingerbread cookies."

"Well, you did kill some of their men. Gang retaliation is a serious issue, you know. " She rolled her eyes at him.

"They committed treason against the Queen!" She waved him off

"And I'm the one lost in vanity." He mumbled, beginning to kiss up her neck. She moved into his kiss and began working on his lips. His hand drifted to her long locks, while the other rested on her lower back, pinning her to the couch. They took a breath from their hungry, passionate kissing, and she mumbled.

"Did you bring me a present, my chocolate Santa?" Her face was plastered with a smile, and he chuckled slightly, loosening his clothes.

"Hohoho, Merry Christmas." He spoke in a deep, husky tone, before capturing her lips once again.

Her eyes widened slightly. She briefly glanced around the room, and seeing that there was no terrible gingerbread men, she relaxed into his touch. This was real life. It would be a very Merry Christmas, indeed.

 


End file.
